No Lonely Souls ...

"No Lonely Souls" is part of the mission of my church. They truly desire that there aren't any "lonely" people a part of their church. They do their best to see that a new person or family is connected with a group as quickly as possible. I love this mission. I appreciate this mission. My former church was the same way. As an introvert, I do what I can do appear to be assimilating well in my surroundings in order to avoid awkward small talk. I really would much rather sit alone in a church service than sit with someone I don't know. I like being able to make friends at my pace. While I am an open book and have no trouble sharing my life through this blog, I am very selective about sharing my time. It's the most valuable thing I have. Being an introvert, I am renewed by my alone time. So when I'm asked to hang out or something I honestly I look at the "price" I'll have to pay personally and the toll it will take physically in the coming week. I'm sure that sounds incredibly arrogant and I don't mean it to it's just how I am wired.

With that said, I have been struggling with loneliness this week. It's not that I want to go stand in a crowd somewhere but I'm missing valuable time with people that I genuinely care about. So last night I skyped my sister in law and nephew. Tonight, I have church. Tomorrow night I am going to a HS football game to support some dear friends. Friday night, I have a Halloween party to go to with my Knoxville family. Saturday, I am spending the day with my college bestie and Sunday I will be at church again. Then next Saturday I am going to Atlanta for the day with a sweet friend. I have a lot of fun stuff coming up so what's struggle?

I think a great deal of it is spiritual warfare. I'm participating in a 5 week Singles Lab at church ... it's not nearly as scientific as it sounds but it is an intensive study. It's raw. We have the option of being honest or using initials when working on the questions we're being asked. The first question we were asked last week was "where am I now"? I wrote down that I was content. Oops ... should have known that would put a target on my back immediately. Big mistake. Lol. But ever since last Wednesday little things have been etching away at my contentment. I have fought to keep it from happening but it has been vain because I have been battling in my own strength. There is a Tommy Walker song, "Lord, I Run to You", that is a prime example of my struggles with my strength. Here's the beautiful lyrics ...

Lord I run to You,
No one else will do
Lord in troubled times I will run straight to You

Though my heart and flesh may fail
You're my ever-present help
My tower of strength
My portion evermore

Lord I run to You,
No one else will do
Lord You said we'd face trouble, pain and fears
But to be of good cheer,
Be of good cheer
For You have overcome,
Overcome the world

Chorus
I lift my eyes up to the mountains
Where does my help come from
It comes from You Lord
You are the maker of earth and heaven

And there is nothing that's too hard for You

I love that song however, for some reason, when I sing those first two lines I catch myself singing "Lord, I run to You, when no one else will do..."  I have no idea why I do that. Could it be a Freudian slip? But I do ... I run to everyone else first before running to the Lord. Run to Him first, Melody. First. Not after you've exhausted all other possibilities. So I'm going to face these emotions head on in addition to the other areas that are under attack. I'm going to work on my homework that is due tonight and I am going to go to church because I know I can get a hug. And while I may be an introvert, who's primary love language is words of affirmation, I am seriously lacking in my secondary love language - physical touch and I'm looking forward to getting some hugs tonight ... after all they don't want any "lonely souls"!! Lol.

Love you all!!

Blessings ...

- Melody Faith