Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord

"Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Opens the eyes of my heart, Lord. I want to see You." 

Do you remember this worship chorus that was really popular at the turn of this century? Ever had a moment when you realized that when He did open the eyes of your heart that the things you would see reflected less of you (how you thought church should look, act and be) and so much more of Him that you wondered how you've been missing it all these years?

It's been an interesting week for me as far as social media goes. I have read several interesting posts from two different writers - one was an article regarding the question if we are too caught up in the worship of worship (Is Your Church Worship More Pagan Than Christian) and another about how we dress at church (Christian Men Should Wear Suits and Ties to Worship and Modesty: You Still Don't Get it, Do You?). I share these because these two "issues", if you will, have had a direct influence on my life in the last few months.

As you know, I joined a new church a few weeks ago. It is a large, conservative Southern Baptist Church. I am a traditional, conservative Southern Baptist girl who grew up in a traditional, conservative Southern Baptist home with a suit and tie wearing, Bible preaching Father and dress wearing Mama. I can remember wearing sundresses on Wednesday nights when I was in elementary school. I'm not sure that I ever wore a pair of shorts to GAs (Girls in Action) until may be 4th grade.I wasn't allowed to wear pants to church on Sunday nights till I was 13 years old. I can still remember that night too! I was so excited. My Mama didn't start wearing pants on Sunday nights until 6 years ago. She's even worn them on a Sunday morning a time or two I think. I've yet to do that! Ha. It's not because pants are sinful or wrong it just so happens I don't have many dress pants. I have two pairs and I don't really care for them. I'm more comfortable in dresses and skirts. Go figure. Ask my coworkers now, I'm always in a dress or I'm wearing a tunic dress over leggings/skinny jeans. When I'm at home I throw on yoga pants or jeans. Now at my former job we were able to wear jeans 3 days a week and if you had a dressy pair of denim slacks you could easily end up wearing jeans 4-5 times a week. Needless to say the jeans I have now are worn out. They are threadbare in spots. Not something you would find suitable for a nice dinner out and in my opinion if it's not suitable for a nice dinner out then I shouldn't be wearing it to church. But that's me. Not you. Me. That's my standard for myself. 

When my dad was my pastor and I was on a regular solo schedule at our church I never sang in pants. I always wore a dress or skirt. If I was asked to sing on a Wednesday night before prayer meeting then I was would wear black slacks. I remember one time I had completely forgotten that I was scheduled to sing. I worked at the church in the afternoons and I was probably 19 at the time. The music minister reminded me that I was on the schedule. Thankfully, my dad had about 400 soundtracks (cassette tapes) on hand in his office so coming up with a song wasn't a problem however, I was wearing jeans. I actually asked the minister of music if I could not sing and he laughed at me when I told him why. I didn't want to get up in front of the 50-60 members that would be there and sing in jeans. I felt it was disrespectful. It wasn't my best and I always tried to bring my best when I sang to the Lord or stood behind the pulpit. I sang that night and I apologized to the church for being so casually dressed. They didn't care but I did. My dad even made a point to let them know that this wasn't a restriction that he had placed on me but my own personal conviction. Does that mean I have never sung in jeans? No. It's just I was raised that we are to bring our best to the Lord when we come into His house. Does that mean I'll never wear pants on Sunday morning? No. I can't tell you though when that will happen but I'm sure it will eventually. :)

Youth Evangelism Conference 2012

I'm the jeans, hat wearing girl on the right!

So why am I sharing this because a dear friend asked me this week if I was able to overlook the fact that my new pastor and his staff dresses so casually on Sundays. I'll admit I was bit put off at first but I realized the problem was with me not the pastor or the staff. Here's the thing ... they aren't up there with this arrogant attitude of "look-at-me-I'm-dressed-casual-cause-Jesus-says-come-just-as-you-are-so-if-I-want-to-roll-up-here-in-my-pj's-next-week-then-so-be-it." They are simply up there proclaiming the Word of God in Spirit and in Truth with complete passion. And to be honest, I've seen Christian leaders who are some of the most sharpest dressers this side of the New York Fashion Week wearing Joseph A. Bank, Talbott, Ann Taylor, Brooks Brothers and Ralph Lauren yet their application of scripture is so casual that you wonder if they even believe it at all. So may be it has taken me thirty years to grow up but I'm finally seeing past the clothes and seeing their hearts instead or better yet I'm seeing Jesus through and in them. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.

Which brings me to the "Pagan Worship" article. I shared this article on Facebook and a friend from High School brought up some interesting points about how the author failed to mention the role of the Holy Spirit in bringing us into the presence of God as well as how worship was actually originated out of pagan practices since the early Christians were pagans. This is what I wrote to my friend in response: 

Excellent points. I think the author was focusing more on the fact that we can only come to salvation through Jesus Christ when talking about He is the only way One can enter the presence of God. "Music and “the worship experience” are viewed as means by which we enter the presence of God and receive his saving benefits." I agree in that there should be mention in the Holy Spirit's role in our relationship to the God as He intercedes on our behalf (Romans 8:26) when we don't know how to pray, in addition to many other things. Secondly, as one who attends a more "relaxed" style worship, i.e. not liturgical, I have known of many who's focus has been more on the feeling they get from the music than the message they receive from the Word as to whether or not they have "experienced" God. "If we associate God’s presence with a particular experience or emotion, what happens when we no longer feel it?" It's the same thing as when you don't feel in love with your mate yet you know you love your mate. You don't step away from that relationship simply because you don't "feel" it that day. But that is in fact what is happening in many of our churches. The music is given higher priority over the Word of God. And some of the songs are quoted as if they are scripture and I'm not talking about hymns and songs that based out of scripture. I know you've seen the Pinterest pins that pop up on here with a line from a worship song or two from time to time. While I too am moved by these lyrics we have to ask ourselves do these stir us to action more than God's Word? Just some thoughts ... thanks for getting me to think!!

When I knew the Lord was leading me to my new church I wanted to make sure I wasn't simply stirred by the music portion of the worship. Even though I attended choir practice for a few weeks, I didn't arrive to church until the sermon was getting ready to start for most Sundays. I mean, I love music. It's my heartbeat. How am I not going to be swayed by it? But because of the break that the Lord has had me on since the end of March, my heart is geared more to the sermon than the music. What has the Lord laid on His messenger's heart; His appointed, called and anointed shepherd's heart for me to hear today? Am I leaving the service called to action for my King or lulled further into complacency because my heart was "too full" from the worship that I couldn't receive the message? Could this be another foot in the doorway of our churches for Satan? Yes, I think so. Does the secular world laugh at us for having these discussions over what people are or are not wearing to church (modesty being a given) and if our worship is even Christ centered? How could they not? Is God grieved by this? I believe so. So how do we change this? By confronting the person looking back at you in the mirror and humbly repenting to the Lord. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. 

Here's a good place to start ...

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

I love you all!

Blessings ...

- Melody